2. From Hospital Birth to Home Birth: Daniel's Birth

In this episode of Faith Over Fear: The Christian Pregnancy & Birth Podcast, I’m sharing the full story of my second birth—Daniel’s peaceful home birth—and how it stretched my faith, challenged my need for control, and ultimately led me to experience more joy and surrender than I thought possible.

This pregnancy and birth journey was different from my first. After delivering my daughter unmedicated in a hospital, I found myself being called toward a new kind of birth experience. But that shift came with fear, hesitation, and daily moments of surrender—especially after walking through another miscarriage scare and months of intense early labor symptoms.

Whether you’re considering a home birth, wrestling with “what if” scenarios, or simply needing a fresh reminder that God is with you in your birth story—this episode is full of encouragement for your heart, mind, and spirit.

In this episode, I share:

• 🌸 How we decided to switch from hospital care to planning a home birth
• 🩺 Navigating another miscarriage scare and trusting God’s provision for our pregnancy
• 🎶 How worship music and prayer helped me through labor’s most intense moments
• ✝️ The mindset shifts that helped me surrender fear and embrace faithful preparation
• 👶 Sweet, unexpected moments that made Daniel’s birth even more joyful than I imagined

Scripture Shared:

"When a woman is giving birth, she has sorrow because her hour has come, but when she has delivered the baby, she no longer remembers the anguish, for joy that a human being has been born into the world." – John 16:21 (ESV)

A Prayer for You:

I close this episode by praying over you—especially if you’re carrying fear, uncertainty, or heavy hopes into your pregnancy or birth journey. May you be reminded that God is near, His timing is perfect, and His joy is waiting on the other side of surrender.

Mentioned in this episode:

• ✨ Christian Mama Birth Prep Library: Free birth prep tools, worship playlists & more
• 💛 Work with Me 1:1 – Doula Support & Coaching: Explore birth support and childbirth education for your pregnancy and birth journey

If this episode encouraged you, please subscribe, leave a review, and share it with a friend. Let’s keep choosing faith over fear, one birth story at a time.

Go here for the full blog post, show notes, and all resources mentioned!

Transcript

Natalie Portman: 0:01

Welcome to Faith Over Fear, the Christian Pregnancy and Birth podcast. I'm Natalie Portman, a wife, mama, birth doula and childbirth educator. And I believe God has a better way for us to experience birth one without fear, striving, or self-glorification. If you're ready to stop feeling overwhelmed and instead trust the Lord more deeply in pregnancy. Birth and motherhood. You're in the right place here. You'll find inspiring birth stories, biblical encouragement, and practical wisdom to help you walk in faith over fear during this beautiful and challenging season. Now let's get started. Well, hello there and welcome to episode two where I'll be sharing the birth story of my son, Daniel. He's my second born. And just the growth that happened from that experience, preparing for that birth, having a different birth experience. I had a hospital birth with Ellie and deciding to go with a home birth with Daniel was a huge decision. And one that we were really happy we made, but a lot went into that also. It's funny because I became a doula after I had Ellie, and so going into this birth with the knowledge and the experience that I had after. Being a doula for a couple years at that point, had some pros and certainly some cons, which again, I'll go into more detail about. So with Ellie's pregnancy and delivery, six weeks after I had her, I went in for my OB visit and had an IUD put in at that point. And I did not have a period when I had the IUD and so was in the same boat. As when we were trying to get pregnant, the first time was I had no idea when I was ovulating, and so I did the same thing again. I used ovulation test strips. I was checking my basal body temperature where you like take your temperature first thing in the morning, like before you get out of bed. And what's really cool is this app that I used had the test strips and the basal body temp, which was a Bluetooth temperature. Monitor and so it would, I would take my temperature and it would log it inside of the app. I'll put that Bluetooth monitor the test strips in the app, in the show notes so you know which one I used. But yeah, it was relatively inexpensive but just helped us like figure out when I might have a chance to actually conceiving. So that was really great to have that information. So we started trying for a baby in April of 2023. We actually were at a wedding and we realized when we were on that trip, like I was in the airport about to leave and realized like, oh my goodness, I'm about to ovulate and I getting pregnant the first time. Thought, oh, for sure I'm gonna get pregnant this time. And so the time came and went. Whenever I could start testing to see if I was pregnant. It was not showing up that I was pregnant, and I was like, okay, I just need to give it a couple more days. I just know I'm pregnant. I was like feeling like I had conceived. I just felt some crampiness and then come to find out I did not get pregnant that time and I was really disappointed because I just felt like I was doubting my body that some, maybe something was wrong. Or I just felt foolish because I had misunderstood some of my body's cues, thinking maybe I was pregnant. So that was really disappointing, and I ended up the next month, so that was April. So then in May I was like, I just need to separate myself for a bit, thinking about how this ultimately is not in my control, but I really just wanted to posture my heart to be. Just ready for whatever timing the Lord had for us because I just assumed that oh A plus B equal CI find out when I'm ovulating, we have sex, and of course that's gonna mean I, I get pregnant and I just, I didn't trust the Lord at that point and just really was operating out of a control and fear place. And so that next month we didn't try, I wasn't tracking. I can't remember if I was tracking. I just think I just needed to step away from that. And then come June, I tracked it and realized when that timeframe would be. We celebrated Ellie's second birthday earlier that month, June 9th, and then I think it was like a week or something later is whenever I was ovulating. And sure enough come like end of June, I found out that I was pregnant. And so again, very blessed, very thankful that we were able to get pregnant on our second try. Even though there was a couple months removed there, but I it revealed in my heart how much I say that I trust the Lord say how I just, I want his will and all the things. But there was still that control and that fear and that ickiness in my heart that I really did deep down feel like I could control things that are out of my control. So that was a rude awakening, but it did just make that time when we did find out we were pregnant, just the gratitude and the thankfulness that it didn't take very long for us to get pregnant again. And then what's so funny is at that point, being a doula, I had already decided who I was going to reach out to about doula support, and that's Kayla journey. And if you are in the Jacksonville area, you probably have heard of Kayla. She is an incredible birth doula and she and I actually later started a birth doula collective where we work together and support each other's clients in case something crazy happens where we have two clients in labor at the same time or coming off of a really long birth, and then another client goes into labor. So we back each other up. We keep in close communication for just support and just getting through being a birth doula. It's a really intense role at times, but having Kayla is such a blessing. But yeah, she knew like the day after I found out that I was pregnant, I called her and said, Hey, what are you doing in March of 2024? Would you like to be my doula? And she was of course happy to say yes to that. So it's obviously most people don't even realize they're pregnant that early on, let alone hire a doula. When you have a really good doula, you gotta book them really quickly'cause they fill up fast. But yeah, so Kayla is my doula and crazy enough, I had another miscarriage scare with this pregnancy. I talked about that with Ellie's and how we came to realize it was a subchorionic hematoma. And we suspect that same thing happened again with this pregnancy, although in some ways I, I was more prepared, but in others, I just couldn't believe that it was happening again and was like, surely this is a miscarriage. Like the cramping that I had was so bad, it was like causing me to weep. Like they were so bad. The cramping and the. Bleeding I had, I was passing small blood clots whenever I was having that with this pregnancy, and that was terrifying. Long story short, I had already started establishing care with a local OB midwife practice here in Jacksonville called Full Circle Women's Care. They are phenomenal and they had me do blood work to just see what my levels, like the HCG hormones. To see what was going on there. And thankfully things were trending normally where that hormone was increasing at a level that was leaning more towards a healthy normal pregnancy. And so that was amazing just to get that reassurance. But there was still like a couple weeks where we were not sure entirely what was happening. But because I had that previous experience, they were pretty confident that everything was okay. I also went in and had an ultrasound to just rule out like ectopic pregnancy, making sure that the baby was growing actually inside the uterus and not in the fallopian tubes. And so that ultrasound was very reassuring that everything was also normal there. So that was just a scary, bumpy start. But again, the Lord was just near to us during that time, and I really did have such a peace about it, even if it meant that this pregnancy was not gonna be viable. I really trusted the Lord in his plan for whatever was happening. So around the time of the anatomy scan, we had started talking. Brian and I had started talking about possibly shifting to a home birth with a home birth midwife. And I had resolved at that point that I wanted to at least get through the anatomy scan with my OB midwife practice. And as long as things were still looking normal and healthy at that point, switch to home birth care. So I had the anatomy scan, I think right at 20 weeks. Everything looked good with baby and me. The only thing that was of concern was I had a low lying placenta, and the problem with a low lying placenta is if it doesn't resolve where the placenta moves away from the cervix, like that opening where baby has to come through, then the only option for delivery is a cesarean. And thankfully, it's a very high percentage of. Placenta that move up and out of the way. And so by the grace of God it did. And so that was, that ended up not being an issue, but it was definitely on my radar that I had to keep in mind as we factored in the pros and cons of potentially going with a home birth. And there was just a lot that went into that. I literally made pros and cons list. I was regularly just like going to the Lord in prayer about it. Brian and I had many conversations about it because we had to consider the financial cost, the just the logistical things and just there. There were just so many factors at play, but we did ultimately decide to move forward with a home birth midwife. Her name is Rebecca Ray with Sweet Grace Midwifery. She's so precious and we, she had home visits, so all of my prenatal visits, I think she has it a little bit differently now that she has an office, but she would come to my home and do the prenatal visits there, which was so great having a another child where I would just have Rebecca come during her naps, Ellie's nap time, and it was so great because I didn't have to. Schedule a separate time to be away or do anything. It was just a quiet time in the house and Rebecca would come and take care of me. So that was really great. And then I also forgot to mention earlier in the pregnancy, started having to do very regular chiropractic adjustments, like from the very beginning, like even five weeks pregnant, which again, like some women don't even know they're pregnant at that point. But I, having that hypermobility just realized how much my body began just shifting and starting to have a lot of pelvic pain very early on, and so that was such a help Going to the chiropractor. My chiropractor, her name is Paige. Paige is no longer practicing in Jacksonville. She moved to be with family, but she is Webster certified. And that Webster technique is specifically geared towards adjusting pregnant women, and it was such a help. I honestly don't think I could have survived without her regular adjustments. I think I started out going like once or twice a month in the beginning, and then I started going every other week, and then I started going weekly, and then I think at the very end I was going once or twice a week, but that was a huge help. Then leading up to the time that I actually delivered, like starting at 35 weeks, that last month, I was already feeling so much pressure, like it almost felt like a bowling ball just sitting between my legs. And I had Rebecca check me at that point.'cause I was just like, what is happening? I feel so much pressure already. So at one of my appointments, I had her do a cervical check just to see what was happening because I was already having a ton of contractions all throughout that pregnancy. I started losing my mucus plug kind of early, was having the backache, having the nesting urge, and so I was like, I wonder if this is changing my cervix at all. And so I did have her check me. And I was already a little bit dilated and starting to like ripen and soften, but she was also noting that he was already like very much engaged in my pelvis, which also explained why I was starting to feel so much pressure and I was doing all of the cervical ripening methods, drinking red raspberry leaf tea, eating dates, doing the acupuncture, eating spicy foods. Having sex, like all of those things. I was doing those, but because Daniel was already engaged in my pelvis at 35 weeks, I stepped back just a little bit because I did not want to go into labor early. And I forgot to mention this as well. If you are doing a home birth, you have to meet certain criteria. You have to be considered low risk enough to be under the care of a home birth midwife. If you or baby becomes high risk at any point in the pregnancy, like even if it's like the very end or like the start of labor or during labor, then you have to switch back into the care of an OB or head to the hospital. And that was a mental block for me because I had a very low risk, easy pregnancy with Ellie. For the most part was also having a very straightforward, low risk pregnancy with Daniel, but because of the amount of contractions I was having already at 30 something weeks already, him being engaged in the pelvis. I worried that at any point something could change and I would become high risk, or I would go into preterm labor. I even had an instance where I thought maybe my water had broken because I was just having so much vaginal fluid that I thought, oh my gosh, did my water break? And that was a complicating factor throughout the pregnancy that I did not worry about with my hospital birth with Ellie. Because I, first of all, again, didn't have the birth experience that I had with Daniel's pregnancy where I had seen some moms transfer from home birth setting to hospital birth due to high risk factors or other things. And I also kept worrying that something would pop up for me personally. That would disqualify me from having the home birth that I was really dreaming of or just other just scary things happening. And that was something that the Lord really had to work through me and I felt like I had to constantly, like literally constantly surrender my plans for my birth to the Lord. It was. Almost a daily exercise that I would have to think about. This sounds negative, but I would have to think about, okay, well what if the worst case scenario happens? What if I become high risk and need to find an OB and be under their care? Is that gonna be okay? And I would have to talk myself down and just be like, and Natalie, that would be okay if that happened, you would still be okay. Would you be sad that you are not having the home birth you want? Absolutely. And I'm allowed to feel sad about that or even scarier. Worst case scenarios. What if I do end up having the home birth and we need to transfer to the hospital at some point in the labor? Is that gonna be okay? Are you okay with that? And just trying to think through worst case scenarios. Not in a, trying to scare myself way, but just to push myself into thinking through my. Perceived worst case scenarios and thinking it out, and it still just being okay and having a plan for that. If that does end up happening, and that's something that I would recommend that you do as well, is just bringing all of that to the Lord as you're praying through that, talking through that with your husband, talking through that with friends, talking through that with your doula if you have a doula because. I think so much of birth is mental. I mentioned this in the first episode that so much of birth is a physical, obviously challenge and journey, but so much of it is spiritual and mental. I think we do ourselves a disservice when we don't take care of our mindset as we prepare for the pregnancy, the birth, the postpartum time. When we don't consider the challenge that's ahead in the mental aspect, we set ourselves up for failure, and so I say hope for the best, plan for the best. But you also need to be prepared for the worst case scenario, and I think it's a good exercise because it does just help you shake off that lingering anxiety about things that could happen, things that might happen, instead of it just always feeling like it's in the background or the back burner of all of these things that might happen that you're just too afraid to even engage with. That's my tip there. So again, going back to the story, so I stopped doing some of the cervical ripening methods just so that my body could stop progressing and hopefully stay pregnant for another couple weeks. So Rebecca was able to care for me. If I went into labor at 37 weeks and on, if I went into labor before that 37 week mark, I would've needed to go to a hospital and my baby there. So I held off for that time. My due date was March 7th, and on March 1st, Rebecca came over for my prenatal visit and I had her check me again, and I was two centimeters dilated, 75% a face, and baby boy was already really low. Zero station. I asked her to do a membrane sweep at that point because again, I was having so much of that warmup contractions, losing more of the mucus plug, the backache, all the things, and I just was like, I want my body to just finally get over this hump. The other thing I forgot to mention was I did do acupuncture, a couple rounds of acupuncture, I think that week prior, because once I was 37 weeks, I started back up doing all the things. So this was like about a week later. Rebecca was doing this check and so I asked her to do a membrane sweep and at that point she also was able to stretch me to four centimeters.'cause the cervix was like really stretchy. After that membrane sweep, I had lots of cramping, a little bit of bleeding, which that's all like very normal. I. I could just tell that the Braxton Hicks that I had been having started increasing and it, they weren't very regular, like they were very sporadic, but I could just tell that things were starting to just increase in intensity and so that night I was craving Mexican food, so we ordered in some Mexican and also thought, okay, cool, like spicy food will help too. Had my Mexican food. And ended up like going and taking an Epsom salt bath because I was starting to just have more regular contractions. They were very mild. It wasn't like I was needing to breathe through them or anything, but I could just tell that they were picking up. And so I called my mom and my sisters and I just said, I'm starting to experience these contractions. I don't know if it's worth you guys coming over at some point, or maybe even just spending the night in case I go into labor in the middle of the night. Kinda left it up to them, but they all decided to come over, which I felt like was a really fun excuse for a sleepover. And so my mom slept in our guest bedroom and my sisters ended up sleeping out in our living room on the couch, and so they stayed the night. This is embarrassing, but I told Brian, I was like, okay, we are having sex tonight because I just need this baby to come. So we had sex, which also helps stimulate contractions, semen helps get the cervix to ripen and dilate and all the things. So we had sex that night. I think we went to bed around 10 ish, which is late for me. Like I am an old lady and I love to go to bed like at eight o'clock or nine o'clock. I'm so old. So that was a late night for us. But we also, like I said, had family staying with us and I was like out there with my sisters chatting and whatnot. Finally went to bed around 10 o'clock and then around midnight I woke up and started feeling just very regular, powerful contractions. And I tell my clients all the time, if you go into labor at night, which most women do, if you go into labor at night, I want you to try and ignore those contractions until you just simply cannot ignore them anymore. That's what I told myself. And so I kept trying to just go back to sleep, lay down, change positions, do whatever, but they were definitely coming pretty regularly and powerfully at that point, I could not sleep. So I started timing them around like a little bit after midnight, and they were coming pretty regularly. So I sent screenshots to Kayla and I'm like, okay, like I'm a doula, like I should know this, but do you think I'm in labor? Like it was very confusing. And so that was just another benefit of having a doula. Even though I am a doula was just to kinda get that outside perspective because it's almost like you can't see the forest through the trees when it's happening to you. Like you're feeling so many sensations that it was just nice to have somebody definitively tell me what was happening. So I sent Kayla those screenshots of me timing the contractions through Contraction Timer app, and she was like, yeah, I think you're in labor. And I kept having this recurring fear throughout my pregnancy. Because I was having so many Braxton Hicks that my labor was gonna fly by like really fast. Then I had a pretty quick, relatively, especially for a first time mom labor with Ellie, and so I kept telling Kayla and my birth team, I'm so afraid that no one will be here when I had the baby. And so they all knew that, and they just kept encouraging me like, we're okay coming as soon as you think you're in labor, even if it ends up being a little bit longer, we're okay with that. So that was really sweet of them. So everyone came over. So like I said, all of this kinda started at midnight ish. I think it was like one o'clock or so that I was like, okay, yeah, everyone kind of start making their way over here. And then by three o'clock everyone was pretty much here. My birth team consisted of my midwife, Rebecca, her assistant. Kayla and then Kayla and Paige at the time were working together. And Paige is not only a chiropractor, she's also a doula. So I, I had told Paige, if you would like to be a part of the birth, you are more than welcome to come. So Kayla and Paige were there. And then I had a birth photographer, Erin, that was my birth team. And then, like I said, I also had my mom, my sisters, and Brian, my husband, and then Ellie was there sleeping. This is all happening in the night. So everyone got there around three and it was just such a sweet time just before everyone got there though, because my sisters were up with me and Brian I think was like getting ready and stuff. But my sisters and I were out there and I'm like sitting on my birth ball and I'm just like, I'm so happy you guys are here. It just, it was such a special time. They were helping string up the lights and getting just all of my comfort measures out and just getting the room all beautiful. We put the, or I didn't,'cause I was very pregnant, but they moved the, our dining room table over near our tv and then we set up the birth pool where my dining room table normally is, which is like right in front of our sliding glass doors. So we set up, or they set up everything there and it just looked so beautiful. It just, it felt like a party. Like I just felt like we were having like a party in the middle of the night. Like it was really fun. I had just the most amazing birth team there. When Rebecca got there, she just checked on Daniel's heart rate and all the things, and then blood pressure, all that, just medical things. And then Paige did an adjustment on me and actually did a round of acupuncture for me as well. That was really sweet of her to do that. And the benefit of doing the acupuncture is it can sometimes help just speed up the labor, because at that point, once everyone got there, that fear of no one being here for the birth obviously left because everyone was there. And so I was like, yeah, let's do acupuncture. Let's do all the things, and moved through a lot of different positions, hip squeeze his birth ball, leaning over peanut ball, like just doing all of the tips and the tricks for just labor positioning. And then around five o'clock, so this was a couple hours after everyone got here. I asked Rebecca to check me'cause I was just curious like where we were at. I mentioned in the first birth story with Ellie, how my contractions were really manageable. Like I would say five or six out of a scale of one to 10. And I would rate it about the same with Daniel. The contractions were like a four or a five, like very manageable. So I asked her to check me. I just wanted to make sure we were trending in the right direction because I was having regular contractions, but because they were not super, super intense, I just wanted to double check. And so she checked me. I was already seven to eight centimeters dilated, 80% of faced, and he was already moving down. He was positive one station. And I did want those contractions to pick up. I just knew that, especially after having this experience with Ellie, where the contractions were very manageable, and so I got to that eight centimeter mark pretty quickly, but then things just stalled there For a while, I really wanted to be active and getting those contractions to pick up, and I was like, let's do a dance party. So I got on my birth ball. I put on my wedding dance music playlist and just went to town rocking and rolling on the birth ball, doing all that, and that was a really just a hilarious time. If I feel up to it, maybe I'll post some of the videos of me up on my birth ball, dancing around. But yeah, so that was really fun. Brian made me a cup of coffee'cause at that point it was getting to be about the time, like I would be up and starting my day. I was drinking a cup of coffee. He brought it to me in a milk mug, which was hilarious. A friend of ours got that mug for us when they found out we were pregnant with Ellie. So it's just just this silly little joke. But, so I was drinking coffee and then Ellie wakes up around seven ish, and so she was up around seven and just seeing my sweet baby girl. I could just tell was like taken aback by everything that was happening. There were a ton of people in the house and she was just like, what is happening? So Ellie was very timidly eating her breakfast and I just looking at her sweet little face, it just started hitting me that this was one of the last moments where it was just gonna be me, Brian, and Ellie, just the three of us. And so I got very emotional, started crying, but it wasn't, I wasn't. Sad as much as it was just like a sentimental, bittersweet moment. Like I said, I was still trying to get contractions to really pick up, but they definitely seemed to just stay that same intensity. Oh, another thing I forgot to mention was at one point Kayla suggested us doing a sideline release, which you may or may not be familiar with that. It's a spinning baby's technique, but I'm very tall. I'm five 10. And we tried to do like a sideline release in my bed, but my leg when it dangled down like would touch the floor. And so I was like, okay, well what surface is high enough for me to be able to get up on that? My leg won't hit the floor. And so we ended up putting me on our kitchen island and had the whole team of people there to make sure I like didn't fall off. But I also have a hilarious picture of that whole setup. So yeah, we did that. Yeah, just no matter what we did, things were just not really picking up. And so I asked Rebecca around eight o'clock to check me again and I told her kind of ahead of time, if things still look about the same and I haven't progressed much more, I would like for you to break my water at that point. And again, it's repeating history'cause that's what happened with Ellie. So sure enough, she checks me around eight o'clock and we were still about the same. And so I said, yeah, go ahead and break my water. I. She said I had a really tough bag of water, which I remember my OB saying the same thing whenever my water was broken. With Ellie, they just had a hard time breaking that amniotic sac because it was really strong, like really tough. So she broke my water and I remember with Ellie that first time things progressing very quickly once the water was broken, and I feared that this second time around,'cause I just. I wanted things to progress, but at the same time, I just in a way dreaded that intensity just like coming on me very quickly. So I, I sat on the toilet right after she broke my water'cause I wanted some of the amniotic fluid to just get in the toilet. And I have a squatty potty, which if you don't have a squatty potty, definitely get one. So I put my feet up on the Squatty Potty and was just in a squat, sitting over the toilet, relaxing my pelvic floor. And thankfully it just, the intensity started slowly building. Instead of it just being like night and day it started slowly increasing in intensity, but still got very intense after that water was broken. So Brian came into the bathroom at one point,'cause I was like in there by myself, like moaning and making lots of sounds. And so he came in there just to check on me. It was just he and I in that bathroom and he pointed out to me later, that was the only point in time that we were just the two of us alone, like besides me laboring in bed before everyone else got there. That was like the only time throughout the whole experience that it was just he and I. So I asked if I could get into the birth pool at that point, and they were like, yeah, absolutely. So I got into the birth pool, was getting a little bit nauseous, but the water was so hot to me. Like during transition you tend to get hot. So I don't know if it was because I was in transition or that water was just like way too hot, but I got in that and I felt like I was in like boiling water. So they started cooling me down with a fan and some cool towels and they even were putting some ice in the water just to cool it down. But once I got in that water, things definitely picked up. It was like my body just relaxed in the water. And I just started going like very internal, closing my eyes, vocalizing, moaning, like really listening to like the words of the worship music I was playing.'cause music is like a really. Big thing for me, it's like really helps me get in the zone and so having the worship music playing and just that internal moaning and even like that vocalizing where it like just vibrated my voice box, helped give me some sense of control. It was very comforting. So I even remember at one point crying out to the Lord just being like, Lord, help me. This is just so intense. And it wasn't like a, I don't think I can do this or anything like that. It was just like, this is so intense. I need you to meet me here because this is too much for me to just handle on my own. And then I instinctively got into a squat position like I just needed to move all of a sudden. I grabbed onto the side of the birth pool in front of me and started feeling just Daniel moving down the birth canal. And I posted a video of his actual birth, but I did not post the, that video of him like just coming down where I'm like yelling. I'm literally like hollering. And there's that joke going around like for every peaceful birth video, you're not seeing the one of the moms screaming. And so that is absolutely accurate. Like it looks so peaceful, the one that I posted, but like the one just before it. I'm like hollering and screaming. Yeah, so that was a really intense sensation, having him move down. And then his head started emerging and crowning, and then very slowly you could see his whole head under the water. And then right after his head came out, I completely lost all urge to push, my body stopped contracting and it just, it stopped and it made me nervous because I. Have never, I still haven't seen this. I have never seen a mom deliver the head and then wait so long to deliver the body. And so at one point I asked Rebecca, I was like, is everything okay? Do I need to be doing something? And she's, yeah, he looks great. Like I think if we wait another 30 seconds or so, you'll need to start pushing again. And so I just sat there, composed myself, took a sip of water. Then Kayla was like, how about we lean you back? And so she helped me get back into a reclined position, like on the side of the pool, there's like a little step or like a little seat on inside the birth pool. So I sat on that and leaned back, and then I did start feeling that urge to push again. Then I could, I don't recall if I was paying attention to this, maybe I wasn't. But in the birth video that I like have watched since I can hear the midwife's assistant counting down the time between his head being born and the time that, the body is being born. And so from start to finish, it was about two and a half minutes from his head being born to his body being born, which is crazy. But yeah, so thankfully. That position change helped. I was able to feel that urge to push again and oh my goodness, that final push was so intense. Like it was like I had to muster up everything in me to get that final push. And then I later found out that Daniel was coming out with his hand near his head. It's called a compound presentation. Which also makes it a little bit more difficult because you're pushing out more surface area. So Brian said that Rebecca tucked Daniel's hand back in, and then it almost looked like an ejection button. Like he, she pushed his fingers in and then his body just came out. And so Brian wanted to catch Daniel when he was born, and so he was outside of the birth pool, but his arms and hands were inside the water. Helped guide Daniel out and then helped me bring him up to my chest. At one point, I even felt Daniel's little head, but yeah, Rebecca helped push the fingers in. Brian helped guide him out and I helped Brian guide Daniel out, put him up on my chest, and very quickly Daniel let out a good, strong cry, and it was like that immediate. Shift from the intensity of that last push to the pure joy of having him there, and that pain just completely went away. It was nothing but joy and it was so beautiful. Daniel just was so sweet and content. Like I said, he let out that good cry, but then after that he just was like so quiet and just like taking it all in. It was just so beautiful. And then I mentioned in Ellie's birth story how she was born to this song. Jesus. I have my doubts. Well, funny enough, Daniel's head was also born to that song. Jesus, I have my doubts. Then the song that his like Full Body and Everything was Born to was a song also by John Foreman called, thanks Be To God Who Delivers Me, which could not have been more perfect. The Lord just purposefully and perfectly placed that song because it was truly the meditation in my heart that it was the Lord that brought me through that, and so we just hung out there for some time. Ellie was there throughout the labor and everything. My mom decided to take her for a little walk around our neighborhood and probably a minute after they had left the door, walked out the door, somebody called them and said, Hey, the baby's almost here. Maybe the baby's here. And so my mom and Ellie came right back. And so Ellie and my mom missed the actual birth'cause no one realized how close I was to delivering. So Ellie and my mom came back and I think it was like maybe even a minute after I had actually given birth to Daniel. Ellie and Brian were right there, and Ellie was just so fascinated with the fact that her little brother was born. I also, oh, forgot to mention, throughout the pregnancy, Ellie and I read a lot of like home birth preparation books, like children's books to just prepare her for that time because the goal was to have her there for. The labor and the birth. Of course, if it had, if I had labored all through the night, I wasn't gonna wake her up to be involved. But the chance that I gave birth, when it was a time that she was up and awake, I wanted her to be involved. So we had that just special time of the four of us. Now we're just taking it all in. And Erin, the birth photographer, she got some beautiful photos of all of us at that point. And then. Once I got out of the birth pool, I went and laid in my bed and at that point, like that's when Rebecca was gonna help me deliver the placenta and just check to make sure I didn't have any tearing, all that kind of stuff. And that placenta ended up being such a headache. I was feeling the pressure, like I wanted the placenta to come out. It did not want to come out. I like got into a squat position. I kept doing all these different position changes to try to get the placenta delivered. It did not want to come out. Eventually it did, but man, I had to really work for that. It was like I had to dig deep again and push out the placenta as if I was delivering a baby. I even passed a huge blood clot, like it almost looked like the size of the placenta. Like all of us were like confused when I delivered it. But yeah, so that was crazy. We also came to find out that I had an extra lobe on my placenta, which Rebecca thinks because it was that extra lobe, it just had more surface area to connect to the uterus. So she suspects that maybe that had something to do with like it detaching and it just taking a little bit more time. And then I also had an issue with the placenta and the way my umbilical cord, or the umbilical cord and placenta were attached. Because she could tell when she was doing like a little bit of gentle cord traction that it like was not staying together, and so she stopped. She was like, okay, something is up with it. And so sure enough, whenever she was inspecting the placenta after the delivery, she was like, yeah, the insertion of that placenta to the umbilical cord was like a little funky. And she said if they had found that over an ultrasound or something, I may have been disqualified from having my home birth. So I was very thankful that did not happen. Thankfully we didn't have any issues with it, so that was a blessing. But yeah, so I delivered the placenta. She did give me a shot of Pitocin. I was having a good amount of bleeding, and so I had that shot of Pitocin in my leg, and then I was able to go take a shower in my shower, which was so nice, but also very draining. Like I had lost a good amount of blood and just was like really exhausted, obviously from laboring all night, it was refreshing but exhausting. Got back into bed and one of the things that I had told everyone was, no matter what time of day I deliver, I want to have mimosas and I want to have brunch food.'cause that's like my favorite. And actually there's a video of me getting out of the birth pool and in the background you can hear like champagne bottles popping. And I was like, whoa. Sounds like a good time. People were drinking mimosas and we had brunch food at one point in the night. I think it was like five in the morning.'cause that's like the earliest, you can order stuff at Panera. But somebody like ordered Panera Bagels to be delivered at five or six in the morning. Brian and Ellie and Daniel and I, we all just snuggled up in bed and it was such a sweet time of just gratitude that all of the things, all of the fears, all of the worries that I had. None of those things came true. Of course, the birth did not go exactly how I wanted. If I, in a perfect world, didn't have to have my water broken again or have the difficulty with the placenta being born or the miscarriage scares, but the point of birth is not for it to go perfectly our way. And that truly was just how I felt. Just so much gratitude that what the Lord had done and the story that he had written for Daniel's birth. One thing that I really wish I had done a better job of preparing for was the postpartum time. For example, one of the reasons why I did not wanna do another hospital birth was I just felt like after I had her, there were people constantly like a rotating door of people constantly coming into our room, and it was just a lot I felt. Like I couldn't rest ever. All through the day and night, there were people coming in the room and so I was like, okay, cool. With this home birth, we don't have that. But I also did not think about the fact that we had an older child that still needed to be on her normal rhythm and routine. And after everyone had left, I had some family come and see us at our house and meet Baby Daniel and all that. But then once everyone left it was like, oh, now we have no help.'cause Brian's needing to take care of Ellie and. I'm needing to take care of Daniel and myself and we just, we did not prepare enough for that immediate postpartum time and for those first like couple weeks and months, I wish so much that I hadn't put more preparation into hiring a postpartum doula or just lining up childcare, having a babysitter come and just watch Ellie, so Brian and I could get some rest or take care of some stuff. That is one piece of advice that I highly recommend, especially if you have other children. But yeah, so that was my birth story with Daniel. Overall. It was, like I said, a, just a beautiful experience. I'd love to leave you with some spiritual encouragement, so I wanna take you back to that moment that I said giving birth to Daniel. That last push was so intense, but then there was just so much joy after that moment. There's a beautiful verse in John. It's John 1621, and it says, when a woman is giving birth, she has sorrow because her hour has come, but when she has delivered the baby, she no longer remembers the anguish for joy that a human being has been born into the world. And oh my goodness, that could not be more perfect for what I experienced it. It's so true. We only can sometimes focus on the pain or the challenge. I think it's so healthy to also think about, yes, those are things we need to prepare for, but we also need to set our heart and mind on the joy that's set before us. It reminds me too of Jesus and how he asked the Lord if there's any other way, let this cup pass for me. Let this hardship, let this challenge pass from me. But. He considered it joy to go to the cross because he knew that it meant that he would gain his children. And that's what my hope and prayer for you is that you would see that these challenges, this pain, this struggle is not for nothing, that it truly is for a greater joy and a greater purpose. So I'm gonna say a prayer for us and then we will wrap up here. Father God, I just thank you so much for this sweet sister that is listening to this podcast. I pray that as you are stirring up in, in her heart the plans of becoming pregnant, her heart's desire for her birth, or just navigating this postpartum time. Jesus, I pray that you would meet her there, that you would remind her of the joy that is set before her. I pray that you would be there with her as she is struggling through whatever she is walking through in this current season. But Lord Jesus, you would just embrace her with your joy, with your hope, with your peace as she rests in your plans and purposes. It's in Jesus' name I pray. Amen. Thank you so much for sticking around and listening to this birth story for Daniel. I pray it was an encouragement to you. And next episode I will be diving into cervical ripening methods, and this is something that I've obviously mentioned in both of my birth stories, so I thought I would just go into more detail about. What were all the cervical ripening methods that I tried, things that I'd recommend, and I even have a handout for you to look over that as well. That's it for today on Faith Over Fear, the Christian Pregnancy and Birth podcast. I hope today's conversation encouraged your heart and equipped you to trust God more deeply in your pregnancy, birth, and motherhood journey. Hey, before you go, I want to gift you with a freebie. I've compiled some of my most popular resources inside the Christian mama birth prep library. It includes practical birth prep handouts, such as the labor positions, cheat sheet, birth preferences, checklist, and provider questions guide. You'll also get exclusive discounts and even a worship labor playlist to bring God's peace into your birth space. To get instant access, simply visit faith over fear birth.com or click the link in the episode show notes to sign up. You'll receive immediate access to these valuable resources created just for you. If today's episode blessed you, please subscribe. Leave a review and share it with some other mamas who could use this encouragement. Your support helps more women find this podcast and embrace faith-filled birth and motherhood. Let's keep choosing faith over fear. Bye-bye for now.